my ex..my yesterday..

I'm getting old. Sunday, January 8th i become 29. Udah tua yak?! :( Sadar ga sih dulu waktu kita kecil kita selalu punya impian ,, kelar kuliah umur sekian, menikah umur sekian, kerja di tempat yang enak, punya cowo ganteng, lucu, kaya..haha *Curcol*.. kelililing dunia..well well well..i still have all those dreams.. aku masih punya impian2 itu..aku masih single, dalam usiaku yang ke 29, dan aku masih pengen kerja di tempat yang aku merasa "fit" me, place that i deserve to be at..i mean i think the place that i belong now dont really appreciate my work.So this year 2012,aku mau mencari tempat dimana aku akan lebih dihargai,di "lihat".

Menikah. Hmmm...Last year i supposed to be married with my ex, we were so close to that thing called a marriage, but we ruined it. Me, actually ruined it. Oh wait, not me.. both.. Cos we realize in the end, we didnt meant to be together.. Fuck, we realised it after 6 years of the relationship...What a wasting time, wasnt it..but well i dont regret it, its better now or i regret it forever if i did it.

I thought become 29 is a scary thing, well i used to have that thought..but not anymore, i am glad that i can still have a chance to choose my partner in life. Some friends getting married because their family asked them to do it, not because they want it. Ended up in regret and cheating their partner. Why would i want to have that kind of life??I have such a good life and complicated too. This complication sometimes make me become stronger than i thought i could be. I am happy to be what i am. God.. i have been through so many stories in my 29 years.. I can feel i become so much mature than i used to. I can even get over the shadow of my ex. I thought it would be hard, but its not that hard.. I have a very lovely boyfriend now, funny, busy, handsome, cool..well sometimes he is too busy with himselves, but well..i guess that what makes me learn how to be patient and more patient.. I love him. I do. Hope he feels the same as much as i do. :)

Whats the point of writing this notes today..hmmm..not so sure, i just in the mood to write about my story, and my ex. Wish him all the best, well i'm sorry if i am still the best damn thing that ur eyes have ever seen.. i cant help u with that...LOL

My ex..you're so yesterday..welcome 2012! New year, new life, new thoughts, new plans..and hopefully new job soon! :)

and when its over...

"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love."
— Marilyn Monroe

Done. Its you and me. We done. Thats all. Simple but its so hurting, tears falling down without i even planned, we were having such a good time together but we realized we weren't that happy. I'm sad. But then its not my fault neither ur fault. We just have different vision of people surround us. Which is not really important actually if we both know how to manage the differences. But you and me, gave up just like that. Its ok.. I'm letting u go in a hope u could find someone better than me, better in everything  (crossfingers, i wish u couldnt find either) ehehe..come on.. i am selfish, just like others people are..

Thanks for all the lessons, all the cares..u such a smartest guy ever i met..Ah..i do feel lost when i figured out i have no more u in my life..But this is life,i have to deal with that kind of lost sometimes..but i am not the type of a girl who feel miserable after breaking up with the boy, this is nothing to be compared with so many sadness i've been through in my life. So, i'm keeping up my head high,and look around..And i know : I am the best damn thing that ur eyes have ever seen! :D

What  a busy year..people come and go in my life..i cant imagine,how busy my life have been..keep on changing friends, and lovers too, lol..i didnt expect that, they just came within one wink of an eye..

Lord..thanks for giving me such a good life, good things i can have in my life, showing me which one is right and which one is wrong by the ways u putting me through..Feel so good to know that i still have love from people around me, though i already lost one love..but there are still loves for me from others too..

I am what i am..and please dont ask me to change the way i am..if u dont like the way i am, i am pleased to open the door and send u out of my life!

I am just a girl trying to find my true love...:-)

Bajai is the most dangerous transportation ever exist on earth!!

In Jakarta, we have so many kinds of transportation, and i have 2 stories about transportation in Jakarta for the past 2 days..Starts from becak,becak its a very simple transportation using human power to get it on the way,like bicyle but with 3 wheels, 2 on the front and 1 on the back. But you dont see becak everywhere in Jakarta, the goverment they dont allow becak anymore actually but since Indonesian people really like to break the rules so some people still use Becak for a tool to look for money, they carry passengers from here to there and get paid depends on how far the distance is.Actually i dont really use becak and i didnt really care even if they still exist though the goverment not allow them to be exist anymore. But today i really hope goverment is really serious to take care of this becak stuff...today becak almost hit me,and the silly becak driver not even say apologize,he even yelled at me instead of say sorry..The becak unbelieveable sooo many at the road that i passed through this morning..they were almost half of the road,and they dont move at all, they just there waiting for the passangers. They just make Jakarta even more macet.

The second story is about Bajai. I had 2 times very unpleasant experiences with this transportation. First one maybe like 5 years ago,i almost lost my bag and my necklace,they tried to robbed me but i was so lucky that time my sense of karate was still there, i kicked the robber straight on his face,and then they went away,they were on motorcyle they drove side to side with my Bajai i was on it. Got very shocked ever since that thing happened to me, i always becareful to use Bajai , and its very rarely that i use Bajai to go somewhere.

But yesterday i was with 2 of my friends we thought that we can just share Bajai cos we just wanted to go to a short distance,so there were we using Bajai from my office to Kota (take only 5 mins if its no traffic),we were 3 sitting comfortly on Bajai and we laughed but we still take care of our bags. Just before we arrive Kota,one motorcycle came closer and robbed my friend's bag! It was very fast like 2 seconds only..Like my first experience the robber they use motorcycle. After they got my friend's bag they went away so fast to a dark street near to Kota Train Station.. We were really shocked. Especially my friend who just lost her bag and everything she got inside the bag. It happened again! 2 times in my life,it wasnot me the victim but i can feel exactly how shocked she was when she tried to get her bag from the robber..there was a moment when they pull and pulled between my friend and the robber. They really bastards arent they?!!

But this thing make me think again, Bajai is the most dangerous transportation in Jakarta, the Bajai drivers even sometimes drive recklessly. And the passengers of Bajai are always be the easy target for the robber.

I still feel bit shock everytime i remember how was it happend last nite..really scary and unpleasant experience.

So anyone who still use Bajai for transport from here to there be more carefull.For me,i'm not sure i will use Bajai anytime soon again. :(

Be safe please....


PS : Robber please get another job than make someone shock and sad!

Avril on May!

A month that i really think i might cant have it again for maybe years and years..

Went to Singapore to spend my weekend in beginning of May.And got the chance to stay at the status of Singapore now "Marina Bay Sands" for a night,yayy!! hehe..but i didnt really know how good is the hotel as i totally drunk and woke up in such a very crazy hangover..but they have a good club named Kudeta thou,so i got no time to check how good it was the next morning as i had to get rush to the airport cos they said we had to leave at 11am as their hotel fully booked for the next day. The Universal Studio Singapore is not that special anyway,Indonesian people keep on busy talking about it, for me its pretty the same as Dunia Fantasi in Ancol - Jakarta, but we just dont have the cartoon's icon or whatsoever they called house for bettyboobs or bettyBoo or Betty the Boo,i dont know lah,its all for pictures and thats just all about : Hey, take a shoot here to put on my facebook so they know i'm exist! thats me to be honest,but after i came back home i just realize i dont really find special things about Universal Studio in Singapore.  I'm sorry to say. Well going to Singapore is the thing i may can have whenever i want to, but to stay in Marina Bay Sands with my own money get to think hundred and hundres times then, LOL..

And the next fun was Avril Lavigne's Concert in Jakarta at May 11th. Went there with my male friend, I was quite  a huge fan of Avril Lavigne when i was in college well i still like her thou, her songs quite inspired me to be a tough girl when u have to be a single,or when u just feel so alone in this shit life sometimes..So i went there, and saw her on stage singing the songs that i mostly i know and familiar with my ears. She is really a good singer, she has good performance, she is pretty what else i can say she is just so good! REALLY ! I cant have this opportunity to see Avril in concert whenever i want right? So i want to say is that : Thanks for coming back to Jkt Avril, finally i got the chance to see u in live! This is the most fun thing i have in this 2011 so far maybe after my Bangkok trip last month,so happy that i see you Avril !! :D

And what else i can have for the rest of May 2011.. hehe.. Maybe bunch of fun still waiting for me,hehe! Maybe..

i feel to...

Know how to express whatever you want to say is something that really excites me,i know i'm too late for this kind of blog thing,but its better than nothing at all right? I'm a quiet an open minded person, i mean i dont mind hangout with gay or lesbian and socialize with them,but i dont know why its kinda hard for me sometimes to tell what my heart want to say.


I sometimes afraid that i am a boring person to be with. Well, mostly people i hangout with say i am not but i feel that way sometimes. Working as an accounting staff for the past 5 years its really boring thing. Same office, same friends, same desk, same books,same way to count every single day,dont u think its boring? Hell YES! So, i dont know much about whats going outside there,there are newspapers,it helps me just a little bit but i think i need more interaction with new people, new environment. And maybe new job is on the list i have to do soon. And would love to go back to school,and because i am a javanese woman my parents they really want me to get married before i am turning to be 30. Well i think its quite hard to be real, as i am no longer back to be single after 2 unsuccesfull relationship with 2 guys for the past 6 years.. what a wasted time. Hope they understand there's thing more important than a marriage. My happiness. I am happy to be single at the moment. And to be honest i feel bored with the thing called love,its always happy in the beginning  but end up with the tears on my face. The process would be-introducing-chatting-going-dating-smiling-lovemaking-fighting-breaking-crying-and thats all...mostly all the same.. Does true love still exist at this modernity of life?


I feel to know what's the answer.....


Be happy and be gratefull of life that i have now,its boring but it is still good thou..

:)